Heather StewartComment

Growth, Change & A Little Laugh at Oneself

Heather StewartComment
Growth, Change & A Little Laugh at Oneself

I have thought quite a bit about growth and change lately, how it looks different for each of us and how we don’t always see the growth until we’re on the opposite side of the growth we are experiencing.


While touring the beautiful gardens of a local estate last week, I had a sudden fondness for the simplicity of the hedges surrounding the florals, enamoured by the straight lines and the way they have been groomed just so {our garden is sorely lacking (embarrassingly so), as such, I’ll take any chance I can to gain inspiration from the prettiest of places and hopefully find the desire to create beauty around our home.}


Back to the hedges, something about them reminded me of my grandmother - the precision, the tidiness, the absence of chaos - just simply, grounded, beautiful greenery. As the thought of the hedge intermingled with memories of my grandmother, I found myself laughing quietly to myself, at myself.

Thirteen years ago when we lived in our previous home, the neighbours across the road from us planted a tiny hedge around their corner property. Something about that little baby hedge aggravated twenty one year old me fiercely. The annoyance I felt towards greenery was completely ridiculous and I often caught myself commenting to my husband about ‘that dumb hedge’ and unable to fathom why the owners had chosen to plant it around their property when the ‘in’ thing was iron gates. {Twenty one year old me really cared about the opinions of others and could never imagine making a choice that went against trends or the norm.}

As I found myself with cancer six months later; I spent a lot of time at home, many hours sitting on our porch and upper balcony looking out at that hedge, day dreaming about a day when I wasn’t sick and imagining a life post chemotherapy. I still found myself frustrated and unable to understand why someone choose to plant something so simple.

Six weeks ago, Liam, my nine year old and I traveled back to our old neighbourhood to play at the park and take in the surroundings. That hedge that I spent far too much energy disliking, had grown beautifully and I found myself quietly drawn to it, admiring its simplicity, clean lines and edges, thinking of my grandmother and all the times she quietly laughed at my annoyance and frustration around something that she herself found quaint and beautiful.

Those memories flooded through my consciousness as I took in this garden, awareness of growth creeping in and another lesson that who we are in our twenties is not necessarily who we are in our thirties and so on.

This awareness also found me excited for growth, for what ten or thirteen years from now will look like and what silly things I’ll look back on and laugh about, how I will continue to flourish and grow along with my surroundings and really - just how that evolution of myself and consciousness will play out.

There are so many moments of pain in this life but I think if we’re able to take even just a moment to soak in the beauty of this life and the lessons that are ripe for the taking, we’ll all be that much better for it.